Timed ride
Sunday afternoon 31st January 2021. 1630hrs Mount Bouddi Road, Bouddi National Park. This is around the point in the ride when I am beginning to realise I will miss out on having experiences I thought I’d have time for. I am beginning to think more about time, than the experience I am having. Strava link.
Usual caveat - "I say this not to make a point that somehow I should be celebrated, but to share the great joy we all have access to. It's all there, I just wish more people would go out and get it."
I am not sure the ride today had that much 'great joy' but the experience was profound.
I listened to a podcast a while back where Ryan Holiday said it's not until you own a farm that you're confronted with death regularly. I've previously written about the idea that I might be mere centimetres away from potential death on some of my rides.
People seem to like telling me stories of those who have terrible accidents, got stuck out for hours etc. I had this conversation on Sunday as I was riding north. The guy telling me this understood that riding solo really increases the risk factor, but he also agreed that not many people would want to come riding with me. This is an interesting conundrum. I have no plans to make my rides easier, I think they're too easy at the moment, so I'll continue riding solo.
I'm not indifferent or nihilistic, I'm just aware that what I do has a higher risk than a road group ride and that one day I may never come back from being out. I'm okay with that. More to the point, I understand and accept that almost no one would actually care. People might be upset, they might miss me temporarily, but in a few weeks, or at most months, no one would think twice. I don't make decisions to appease others, I make decisions to survive. What you think is dangerous clearly I don't. I'll ride 200km by myself in the middle of nowhere in the middle of summer (and lie down on the road when I start cramping) but I am unlikely to go swimming in a lake and almost certainly not in a river. That's where people actually die in Australia. Over 1,000 people die in car accidents every year, the number of cyclists killed is less than 50.
Saturday 23rd January 2021. 1330hrs sitting on the western (Mount Wilson) side of Bowens Creek. The day has already been hot and hard - I will end up drinking over 10L of water and wishing I had drunk more. I will soon run out of water and cramp before the top of the hill. This is one of the few times I’ve had to eat my protein bar with a spoon. Strava link.
If you asked cyclists what's the metaphor of cycling for life, I reckon they'd be stumped. Maybe it's the idea of a wheel spinning, gradually getting slower over time, then stopping. I think it is more probable to equate life to a long ride. You start out early, have a rich and fulfilling day and come home to a nice house. Maybe along the way you ride with different people or experience different areas.
The defining part of life is that we're all going to die.
The point bears repeating, we're all going to die, we don't talk about this and it's crazy. To some extent this is predetermined (and we don't know if or when this will be). More specifically we can't stop it, but we can speed it up. I am going to sidestep the argument of what can be done to extend life, as it masks the inevitable.
Instead of talking about what's inevitable, we avoid the conversation entirely. I think the ideal metaphor for life is a timed ride, not a ride based on duration or location.
A timed ride ends when the clock counts down, it doesn't matter where you are or if you're ready.
If you stuff around during the ride you don't get the time back, just as we all know with life. On Sunday I set out on my second eight-hour ride for the weekend, planned a course and had the full range of conditions (weather) and emotions. I have never heard of people doing timed rides outside of specific events like the hour record, or 24-hour races. I'm going to recommend you try this.
Sunday morning 31st January 2021. 1030hrs riding north on the Pacific Highway just north of Cowan looking northwest. You could draw a straight line to Mudgee and probably not see a single person or evidence of settlement. Incredible to have this so close to Sydney. Strava link.
For the first few hours I felt I had all the time in the world, I'd see so much, I'd eat all my food. I would finish early. I started thinking about where else to ride. The day was going to be great. What a joy. What a gift.
About halfway through, the day got hard, I was tired from yesterday, I wondered how the time was going so slowly. I stopped more than I should have. The world got to me. The cars were more aggressive. The road was not fun to ride. The rain was fucking horrendous.
After about six hours I started to feel the sense of the day ending. I had reached the national park I wanted to visit. I'd go down tracks and realise I may not make it to the end (due to time). I'd be at lookouts and think, I can't just sit here and enjoy this as I only have less than two hours left. As time was rapidly running out, I tried one more route, got stuck and had to backtrack. I ended up at the station almost half an hour later than my allocated time.
The last section was kind of hard to enjoy knowing the clock was ticking, knowing that my time was almost up. Even the extra time, the bonus thirty minutes didn't feel right. I was on borrowed time. That's the metaphor of life. We think we have so much time, we think we get to make the choices, but by the time we realise the fragility and shortness, it's too late. The ride was almost over before I realised I was running out of time, as is often our lives.
I encourage everyone to work out what your standard long activity is, then go out and do an extended version but time-limited. You need to plan a route etc, only count moving time. I reckon you want a day that is long enough that it *feels* long. If your usual long ride is 4-5 hours, then I would go with a 7-8 hour timed ride. If your long run is 3 hours then go for a 6 hour run. If you've run a number of 100 mile races then this might be trickier to get the same sense from, but I think it will still work.
As I noted, I think about death quite often, and even I found this a profound experience, possibly due to the fatigue from the previous day.
Saturday afternoon 23rd January 2021. 1300hrs descending down Mount Irvine Road (what a misnomer) towards Bowen Creek from Bilpin. At times you have a few inches which are rideable, often right next to the ‘fence’ which clearly isn’t going to save you should you fall off the side. I doubt you’d walk away from this, or wake up. Strava link.
The ride
Less than a kilometre from my house a police car pulled up next to me at the lights and I thought, oh dear am I really going to be done for not having a bell? The guy said something like "you're really packed up" - I replied I was riding north and would be out all day. He wished me the best and in that brief moment, you realise we develop stories unrelated to reality.
From here I climbed north riding briefly with the person I mentioned at the start that felt compelled to tell me of the bad accidents he knew of. Thanks mate! Three and half hours in I was climbing a hill feeling good, less than an hour later I felt deflated and defeated and ready to pack it in for the day. I am always amazed at how quickly you go from one extreme to the other. I managed to find water at the Australian Reptile Park, which is useful for when I am next in the area. The staff were super helpful. By this stage, it had started raining again.
The descent into Gosford down Central Coast Highway cannot be expressed in words. At one point I was overtaken by a car and trailer whilst trying to stay left of the lane. No one wanted to be held back. It's a combination of the noise, the lack of visibility and that you wonder if your brakes will hold up. I finally moved onto the shoulder and the cars just went faster. I think I would have rather ridden through the rifle range.
I have ridden around the Central Coast a bit recently and overall I find the roads pretty good and the cars pretty reasonable. Somehow I picked a terrible route, lots of hills, no shoulder, narrow streets and people in a rush. I ended up riding on the footpath for a few kilometres just to get a break. More than once on the way to Terrigal I was tempted to turn around and catch the train home. Instead, I ate an apple. Here I am, emotionally defeated and all I needed was an apple to cheer me up. Does that tell you the situation wasn't really that bad, or that it was bad enough that eating a piece of fruit brought such joy. A fucking apple.
I headed into Bouddi National Park to look at some trails. I rode the first trail, as the rain started again. I arrived at the end of the bike section and could see nothing. There were just trees and no lookout. I wondered if it was worth going on. I tried to ride the walking track and gave up after a few metres. After hauling my running shoes all day, I put these on, with my wet, sandy jacket (I have no idea where the sand came from but I could not get rid of it) and walked down the trail. The view from the coast of the rockslide was magnificent. Worth every hour of suffering to experience the wild weather as I stood close enough to see that I never want to rockfish in my life. Madness. On the way out I stopped in at someone's place, admired the view with them and filled up my bottles from their tank. People can be so kind.
Sunday afternoon 31st January 2021. 1530hrs Caves Bay - Bouddi National Park looking east towards the vast horizon, you can’t see Palm Beach from here (it’s south). You access here by riding down Old Quarry Trail, then onto Bombi Moor Firetrail before walking the Bouddi Costal Walk, tun off the walk at Cave Gully Creek. Strava link.
The next track was all walking, I passed some people who I came to find on the way out. They were looking at my bike and wondering who left a bike at the trailhead. I noted that I was wearing riding clothes and I thought they'd know it's me. The woman replied - you looked like you were just wearing athleisure wear. Apparently, knicks are now appropriate casual wear. In a final insult, after leaving Bouddi I had to walk up a stupidly steep hill to find that the trail I thought existed didn't seem to. After backtracking back down I had missed the turn off again, and left defeated to ride to the station. Garmin decide not to count the hour of walking I did, I guess they though it was too slow to be riding.
Sunday afternoon 31st January 2021. 1630hrs Bouddi Spur Walking Track (left) on the track (right) at Bouddi lookout - trying to look happy when the realisation is dawning I have run out of time. You access this track by riding down Mount Bouddi Road and leaving your bike at the Dingeldei Picnic Area. You could walk this in mountain bike shoes, I chose to bring a pair of trail running shoes. Strava link.
As I sat on the station eating my cold cut wraps I was glad to be going home and not heading out into the night. I'd had enough for one day and one weekend. 16 hours of riding and walking, two very early mornings and one late night meant I was stuffed.
That's when I realised, I still need to harden the fuck up, and that I don't have as much time as I thought I did. I'm glad I came to this moment whilst I am still in my 30s (even if they are late thirties). Bring on 2021.
Saturday: Alarm 0330hrs, start riding 0630hrs, train home 1630hrs bed 2300hrs.
Sunday: Alarm 0330hrs, start riding 0830hrs, train home 1830hrs, bed 2230hrs.
Monday: Alarm: Not set. Get up 0800hrs. Drink four coffees.
Starting weight: Me - 92.1kg, Bike - 19.4kg. Total 111.5kg.
End weight: Me - 93.3g (after eating and recovering on the train), Bike - 16.4kg (no water). Total 109.7kg.
Sunday evening 31st January 2021. 1930hrs sitting at Woy Woy train station looking at Brisbane Water National Park. In the previous two days I’d done back-to-back eight hour adventure rides in weather that was far from enjoyable. I was tired, and glad to be catching the train home. Soon I’d be warm and dry. I note in my Strava post:
“That's when I realised, I still need to harden the fuck up, and that I don't have as much time as I thought I did”.
I’d seen a lot of northern part of greater Sydney, probably more than anyone else this weekend, yet, I’d only seen a fraction of what was out there. I couldn’t have imagined that only 12 months later I’d be finishing up my first bikepacking trip having ridden over 2,100km in 15 days through some hot and hard parts of NSW. Amazing to look back and see the progress.
Nutrition
02:15 Protein brown rice and quinoa pudding - 1 serve 100g (265 cal) 14.g carbohydrates, banana - ladyfinger 0.5 (48 cal) - 11g carbohydrates, Dose & Co - Dairy free collagen creamer caramel 20g (93 cal) - 3.3g carbohydrates
03:45 Coles double cream camembert - 50g (180 cal) - 2g carbohydrates, banana chips - 10g (50 cal) - 5.5g carbohydrates, pecans - 8g (57 cal) - 0.4g carbohydrates
04:30 apple - pink lady (80 cal) - 22g carbohydrates, banana chips - 10g (50 cal) - 5.5g carbohydrates, pecans - 8g (57 cal) - 0.4g carbohydrates, SiS protein bar - chocolate peanut crunch 27.5g (108 cal, 0mg) - 11g carbohydrates
06:00 Protein brownie (193 cal) - 7g carbohydrates, SiS protein bar - chocolate peanut crunch 27.5g (108 cal, 0mg) - 11g carbohydrates, Mayver's dark roasted peanut butter - 2 tbsp (232 cal) - 5.4g carbohydrates
07:15 Dose & Co - Dairy-free collagen creamer caramel 20g (93 cal) - 3.3g carbohydrates, Mayver's dark roasted peanut butter - 1 tbsp (116 cal) - 2.7g carbohydrates
Note: Times are ride time (moving). At this particular point in my life, I was not only documenting what I ate but also trying to work out the total carbohydrate consumption.
Hydration
00:00 - 00:15 - 0.62L water
00:45 - 02:40 - 0.62L water
02:40 - 03:15 - 0.62L electrolyte mix
03:15 - 03:45 - 0.62L water
03:45 - 04:55 - 0.62L water
04:55 - 0.62L water (04:55 4 x Gu Roctane electrolyte capsules)
04:55 - 05:45 - 0.62L electrolyte mix
05:45 - 07:15 - 0.62L water
07:15 - 08:30 - 0.62L water
Total hydration: 5.58L